My Best Friend

      I just found out my best friend will no longer be going to my school next year. (I figured so because she said it was a huge might that she would be... But she wasn't one hundred percent sure at the time.) I can feel a little prick in my heart, slowly puncturing an essential vein that allows me to care and trust anyone anymore.
      Originally, this girl and I hadn't really liked each other, but I hated feeling alone at school. She didn't hate me, but the year before some things occurred that made us dislike each other. Anyways, this year we became closer and are now best friends. I am sad that she will be leaving me. How about I tell you a little about her? Here we go...
        Her name is Hallie. (By the way, she has a youtube channel... You should check it out.) We have known each other for four or so years, and gone to school together for three years. We have only been close for one year, though. She is one year younger than me and is in one grade below me. She is really sweet and kind. She can make me laugh when no one else can. She puts up with all of my crap I say. (I always tease her even though she is so sweet!) I feel bad that the year she has spent with me has been filled with so many harsh words. She has made my year so much brighter, though. Just being around her makes my day amazing. Her smile alone makes me want to smile too! Friends are true treasures, and I am lucky to of had her as one.
      Luckily for me, she will still live in town and we will still be able to hang out. I will be able to tell her about all of the crazy kids in my school or the stupid things I have done lately. Though, we won't be to see each other during school, I will strive to live each day knowing that I still have a friend, even if she isn't right next to me. She still thinks of me as a best friend.
      Now to get out some of my fancy writing skills to describe why she is my friend and why I care enough to give her her own blog post. :)
      Depression is a battle that I fight every day... It is extremely hard, but when I am with her, everything seems like it will be alright. She may not be the brightest girl, but she is my best friend. She helps me even when she isn't able to help herself in that same situation. She puts up with my comments or snarky sayings I can't help but blurt out. Mostly because I am not capable of loving myself and fear that I will lose her if she sees the real me. So, I throw out those mean words to cover up it all. If she decides she doesn't like me anymore, I can blame the harsh words and teasing instead of who I truly am. Part of me wonders if she would still be leaving if I hadn't of done that. If I would have just thrown all of my trust in her and willing to be who I am around her... Maybe she wouldn't be leaving.
     I can't change her decision, but I can change my perspective on the situation. I want to see it in a positive light. She is leaving my school and going to her new one. I will still be able to see her often and talk to her. She will be getting the knowledge she needs and her life will be easier to maneuver and deal with. I want to be happy for her, but it is hard. I will just have to try. Try to make myself prepared. And try to let her know I support her decision, because even if she did stay, I couldn't guarantee that everything would be "swell and dandy". The future isn't predictable... I don't know what I will be thinking this time next year... Or what she will be thinking. I don't even know if we will still be friends then... But I do know we are friends now, and time.... Time is fast. Once it's over, you can't go back. That time is lost forever. I want to take the time I have left with her, and make the best of it... She is an amazing friend. She is my best friend, Hallie.